Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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