Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
