Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
