haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
