batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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