I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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