So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i came on her dog
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
