remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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