Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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