So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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