He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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