reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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