Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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