there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
