Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
