I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize