I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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