i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
