First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
