a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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