Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize