Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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