Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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