just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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