belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
