I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
