I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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