Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
