I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
