If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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