I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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