And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
