Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
