Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
