You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
