I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize