Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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