Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
