it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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