Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
