where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Enjoy the penises
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize