Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
