The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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