I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
