when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
