Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
