belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my poor anus
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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