i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
