It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
