ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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