David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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