I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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