Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
