how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
