Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
