I cannot find my penis.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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