Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize