i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize