in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
