So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
