I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
